Quick Tips: Alzheimer's Disease and Other Dementias

Quick Tips – Alzheimer’s and Other Dementias

quick tip 180a Quick Tips Alzheimers and Other Dementias

Visits to the Doctor
Do you suspect that your loved one has Alzheimer’s disease or another form of dementia? Don’t be surprised when he/she is much more lucid at the doctor’s office than you’ve observed at home.

Visits to the attorney
Planning to see an attorney with your elderly mom or dad who has some Alzheimer’s or another dementia? Make the appointment for the morning. Sundowning (late-day confusion) can raise questions about your loved one’s legal competence.

Touch Me

The elderly are often touch-deprived. Take a moment to reach out to them. Hugs work too.

Visiting the Beach or Pool

Stay within an arm’s length of your elderly loved ones in or around any kind of water. And, don’t forget the sunscreen!

Home Safety #1

Restrict access to your home’s swimming pool. Add a fence with a locked gate around the pool, whether it’s inside a pool cage or in the back yard. This leaves the rest of your lanai, patio or yard available for use without worrying about someone falling into the pool.

Replace Interior Door Handles

Replace the locking door handles on all interior doors (except your bedroom’s, if your loved one is living with you) to prevent him/her from getting locked inside a room.

Musical Treats

Music your loved one enjoys can be soothing or stimulating. Download his/her favorite tunes on an iPod. If they have difficulty remembering their favorites, download songs that were popular in their late teens and twenties.

Wandering

60% of dementia patients WILL wander. Make plans to keep your loved one safe before that happens!

Communication

Encourage your loved one to express his/her thoughts even if they are having difficulty. Use simple phrasing and short sentences. Be patient. Be mindful not to interrupt.

Be Consistent

Maintain a calm, soothing environment for your loved one. Keep your daily regime as consistent as possible. Even slight changes can be upsetting.

Be Considerate

How would you feel if you were always told what to do and what not do? Next time, pause and ask your loved one for his/her input.

Shopping

Don’t leave someone with Alzheimer’s disease alone in a parked car. Your loved one and your car may be gone when you return.

Electric Outlets

Cover all unused electric outlets with childproof plugs.

Plastic Bags

Keep plastic bags out of reach. A person with Alzheimers may choke or suffocate. This includes dry cleaning bags.

Be Realistic

Feeling guilty about what you cannot do may keep you from doing what you can.

ID Bracelet

If your loved one has Alzheimer’s, make sure he/she always wears an ID bracelet with your phone number.

Avoiding Burns in Bed

Use a polar fleece blanket, not an electric blanket, for an elderly person with Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia.

When Roles Reverse

Parenting a parent doesn’t work. Guiding a parent to good decisions does.

Take Care of Yourself

Taking care of yourself does not mean you are neglecting your caregiving duties.

Now, It’s Your Turn!

What tips do you have for other caregivers? Please leave your comments below.

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About Mike Gamble

PASSION: Improving the Quality of Life for Aging Parents and their Family Caregivers. Loving Husband, Proud Father, Grandfather and former Family Caregiver.

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http://pulse.yahoo.com/_LHYBEHYKSSYPBNCOG7AWML5X4A Kathleen Farrell

Hi Mike, I love your blog/website and see that just recently there have been communications in 2011. I am hoping I will find someone to chat with and share with to find help with some of my issues I face at home. I wanted to blog anon as my fmaily is on facebook and I don’t want them involved at this point….. My husband has a bit of dementia, he is 76 and I am 54, and I try not to, but we do have arguements where “you never told me that” when I did several times. I am patient but frustrated….and feel I almost need a tape recorder….I don’t want to be difficult but how does one handle this? Thanks for what you do, the support you offer and any guidance that you can provide to point me in the right direction for support Kathleen

http://asourparentsgrowolder.com/ Mike Gamble

Hi Kathleen, and welcome to our new website.

In my opinion, your husband’s dementia has progressed to the point that he has mild to moderate short-term memory loss. He can no longer remember some of the things you tell him.

My mother was the same way. Her memory loss was selective and totally unpredictable. It usually happened when we were in the car together. She’d comment about how nice that new building looked, or was thankful that they finally put in a stoplight here (they should have done it a long time ago!). However, the reality was that both the “new” building and stoplight had been there for at least 20 years.

At first, I’d try to gently correct her … only to start a mild argument that went nowhere, regardless of the rationale I used. Because of her selective short-term memory loss, both the building and stoplight were new in her world, and no amount of arguing would change her recollection of the “facts.” In fact, arguing only made her more and more adamant.

Through trial and error, I learned on my own what I’ve found that eldercare professionals recommend today. That is, it is pointless to argue; it only adds to the stress felt by both parties. They have simply lost the ability to change their minds, regardless of how logically brilliant your arguments may be. And, using a tape recorder to affirm your position will do absolutely no good. In fact, that may make your husband even more angry. Bottom line … You will never win the argument.

Even though it takes practice and sometimes more than a little patience, you and I are the ones who have to change. In my mother’s case, I’d change the subject to something like, “You know, I must have a mental block. Even though you’ve told me time-and-time again the name of that tree (as I pointed to a tree with beautiful purple flowers), I just can’t remember its name. What is it?.”

You may have noticed that I didn’t ask her if she remembered the name of the tree. If I had, it could have raised the issue of her memory again. Instead, I simply assumed that she remembered, and she did! In other words, rather than ask, “Do you remember the name of the tree?,” I asked “What is it?”

In your specific case, when your husband says, “You never told me that,” you can end the conversation by saying (here’s the hard part), “I’m sorry, I thought I did.” By graciously taking the blame yourself, the potential argument will be defused quickly and gently.

I hope this is helpful.
Mike

PS. As you probably noticed, most of our new website is still under construction. It replaces our older site, Aging-Parents-and-Elder-Care.com. Our goal is the create a much more helpful website for family caregivers by focusing on solutions, often from people who’ve “been there; done that,” instead of simply presenting information from which people have to figure out their own solutions.

Birdlegs9999

Thanks for the tip and advice. I never really thought about my mother-in-law’s inability to change her mind! I will pass this along to my husbands siblings since they are still trying to argue every point and she gets so frustrated and angry about always being wrong.